Leader Eat Last : Quiet Sacrifice

     Being a father taught me something I didn’t fully understand until life pushed me into it, real love often means going last.

    Not because you're less important, but because the people I love are important to me. Because their peace, their safety, and their happiness come first, even if it costs me a bit of my own. Those days I thought monetary support , putting the family needs is all that is needed, but all this self reflection I have made me realized that I need to put them all in front of me for everything. I am careless before, thinking that there are certain aspect of marriage needed to be covered by my wife rather than me since I covered other areas, boy am I wrong or am I wrong. Now I see it, changed for the better and will remain like this till the day I die.

To give some context so you as the reader knows where to apply this trait in your life. Putting you family first can look like this :

All those days I went on not eating to save up so I can pay for our meal on my date with Aina's and Lily when I have no money,
working each and everyday of the week, between 3 to 6 hours daily so I can earn more in overtime so I can treat them better the next month,
working despite not feeling well so that my full attendance allowance is not deducted,
taking emergency leave when Lily is hospitalized despite knowing I didn't pass my probation yet and my full attendance allowance,

    Heavy hearted to list it down but I realized its clearer to list it down like this, please do it ikhlas and to not think of it as something to be proud of. This is meant for education purpose hence to be taken as that only. I love Aina and Lily and I will do anything for them without bringing it up ever because I simply want to do it without keeping count.

    When our marriage ended, my love didn’t. Not for my children. Not for the family we built. And even though the shape of that family changed, my role in it didn’t, I’m still here to serve, to support, and to show up, especially when it’s hard.

    Going last means letting Lily, see both her parents without seeing tension in between if there's any between me and Aina. It means swallowing my pride and ego, so she can have a calm home, even if it’s split across two places for now. It means choosing words carefully, holding my tongue sometimes, and stepping aside when that’s what’s best for her.

    It means putting Aina and Lily's needs before my comfort, their future before my feelings. And even though it’s quiet work, unseen, often unthanked, it’s the kind of leadership that lasts.

    I don't need applause or acknowledgment, heck I don't think I deserve it. I just need to know my child feel safe. That she's growing up loved. That she don’t carry the weight of broken things. 

    So yes, I go last. Not out of weakness. But because that’s what strength looks like in the heart of a father.

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