Letting Allah Takes The Wheel

     I have many life lessons that I learn from January 2025 till date but mainly 2 thing change my perspective on life. 1 is Redha and the other is Tawakkal. Redha have been lingering in my mind since end of 2023 where Aina ask for divorce too but didn't follow through because of our love. After that i rarely speaks or argue about her past but it does still happens, with less intensity and name calling for sure. The thing that I didn't realize is the Redha also have to come with no sense of entitlement, how can I say I Redha but I felt entitled to the fact that she have to live up to certain standard or as if she have to be grateful of me choosing her?. Who am I to even think of that when I am just a servant to Allah.

    So Redha that I am doing now. the acceptance that I did now come with no sense of entitlement and it feels really liberating. I feel free of the chain that holds me back. She did this? OK because if that didn't happen, this wouldn't happen. She did that? OK because if that didn't happen she won't love me this deeply knowing I'm a man of quality. All that happens is the reason we love each other so deeply. That's what real Redha looks like. I myself have wrong choices that i've done, sins, skeleton in closet that I wish never happen, but if it didn't happen, I won't get out of my comfort zone, I won't crush my ego to realize I myself is a piece of shit that hurt many people unintentionally. I'm even content with all the suffering I'm going through because I felt that it is needed for me to grow. I wish everyone can see the beauty of understanding what Redha is.

    I wrote about how Redha help to soothe majority of my depression, what about the anxiety?. Allah is the greatest because even this is covered under His mercy. To understand this, first we have to understand what is depression and what is anxiety. One is the resentment of the past and the other the fear of uncertainties of the future. Redha for the past and Tawakkal is for the future. I always thought that I believe in God's plan, well I don't without realizing it and I know many of us too. We try our level best to constantly alter the direction of our action as long as we didn't get the result we wanted.

    Have anyone take a step back to just see sometime somethings will still happen even when you put in least effort? I'll give some example so you see, good or bad, no matter how you try to control it, is normally beyond control, Allah just likes it when we put in effort but not too much, because when it's too much sometime it might caused Allah to punish us.

Noticed that some people still get cancer even though they eat clean and exercise their whole life?

Noticed that some people drive extremely careful but still get rear ended by reckless driver?

Noticed some people Didn't study but can still score yet some that studied couldn't pass?

    This shows some things are meant to be the way it's written, you may notunderstand it yet but all of it have it's own reasoning. You can't overprepare yourself for anything as you are just preparing yourself for an expectation of things to go your way, and when it doesn't it breaks you heart. You will start to question why it didn't go the way you wanted it. 

    Allah specifically ask us to put in effort, followed by Doa and prayers, followed by Tawakkal and whatever the outcomes, Redha.

    I realized the more I tried to persuade Aina the more hurt I get because I want her to see that I'm changed, for good. But the more i tried the further she goes, and that 1 fine day it clicked for me, let it go, let Allah takes the wheel, let Him drive for a bit in this journey of life. I have done my best to convince her, i have done the changes I need to make, I have live differently, I have my grounds, my principles, boundaries, I should just let Allah do His thing. After all He is the best planner, the best executor. Just as I did that things started to fall into places, Aina started to see the good in me again and I get to be her and Lily more.

    Just do your best, ask from Allah and let Him decide, do the rest, soon enough you will realize life is actually easy, we complicate it, too much control over uncontrollable situation just gives you anxiety due to the uncertainty. In the constant tug of war of life, let go of the rope that burn your hand a little, we don't really need to know and plan everything, nor to have too much control of an outcome. Believe that Allah knows the best, submit, surrender and just follow His guidance. After all we cant tell the future.



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